Perry...

have me ever told you the story of Perry the Chocolate covered cherry fairy?

Its about this Time of Year, when the ground hog has lost his latest dare, Perry uses Chocolate magic to bring couples nearer.

When Perry sees two hoomins in need of each other...  he presents the bolder of the two, be it the Lady or the Boy, with a Token and a shot of Courge, without their knowin...   Some times its Chocolate, some times its the kiss of the muse to make a token of their heart, but whatever it is, it gives them their start.

now there are misers about, who use this Fairy's beautiful curse to fill their purse, But sweets beget by greed doesn't go to True Love in need...    If it doesn't have a Cherry at its heart, your Valentine might as well be munching on a Fairy's fart.

what?!   me is an Ogre...  not a wee Cherub!

Sowwy

Sowwy me no been 'round...   Ummie's braincage been full of Kitties fighting of da nips...

My Pet Ogre

          Let me tell you a story about a truly wondrous creature. A particularly special Ogre, like no other that has walked the world of Tipoharsis: The Wyld Tree Ogre of Thorntop. He is The Soothsayer of the Thorntop Elves.  He is my true love. How did a Pixie like me get an Ogre for a pet?   

Heros on Tipoharsis come in all shapes and sizes, all walks of life, and most importantly from the most unexpected of places. My pet Ogre is no exception to the rule. He is kind, he is strong, he is just, and he is wise beyond his years. He is everything one would not ever expect from an Ogre. Ogres of Tipoharsis are typically mindless brutes, savage warriors, and insatiable eating machines. Not my Ummie, though. Well, except the insatiable part. The only thing greater than his thirst for knowledge, is his hunger.  Some things just can't be changed.

            Ummie was an orphan of the first great war between the Dwarves of Hearthhaven (a small town known for its production of lumber, precious gems, and adventurers that is perched  on the rocky cliffs of the North Eastern seaboards of Norane) and the wicked hordes from Strahs (an underground fortress belonging to evil elves who have shunned the light).

              During the great war, Strahs sent many cruel and wicked denizens to siege Hearthhaven: Trolls, Ogres, Giants, Worgs, and the list goes on.  During one tedious battle a great enemy of the Dwarves, with a notorious reputation, was finally felled: an Ogre Shaman named Telumma Astromine.  She was a monster Dwarves and Elves alike told their children about, in stories meant to scare.  She was a sadistic beast that would torment her victims with magic and mysticism before sending their souls to the great abyss. It took a half dozen Dwarfs and one devious Gnome to take her down that fateful night, but  with her death, the enemy lost its will to fight and they fled into the forest.

               Once the battlefield was clear and safe, the townsfolk of Hearthhaven began to tend to the wounded, and salvage what they could.  One particularly onry dwarf, known to his peers simply as Papaw, rushed to the corpse of Telumma. He felt that since it was a shot from his blunderbuss that felled the creature, he deserved a trophy. Though when he arrived at his destination, what he found was not what he expected. Amidst the mangled corpse was a tiny body, not yet born. For a brief moment he was tormented by thoughts more gruesome than he could stomach. Should he put the child out of its pain and suffering? Before he could answer that question a dayspring broke from the clouds and shined on the horrid scene, illuminating the tiny hand of the baby Ogre. Papaw realized that this Ogre child was an albino; a good omen by his religion.  Claiming his trophy, Papaw helped him into this world and gave life to his lungs. He left the battlefield with the ogre child wrapped in his mothers war standard.  Not a single person questioned the old dwarf. Not a single person dared.  Papaw was not a Dwarf to cross, and once his mind was set, only death would change it.

      Papaw would spend his last decade on Tipoharsis raising Ummie. On Papaw’s deathbed he made a request of his good friend Larandel, the Wood Shaper of The City in the trees, to finish raising Ummie.  Papaw recognized that Ummie was destined for something legendary.

               Many years later he came upon me in the woods when I was injured. He could see me, which in itself was a miracle, since Pixies have a high level of invisibility to mortals. This wouldn't be the first, nor last time, that his ability to see magic would save a life.  That day it was mine. I have been his ever since.

Star Stuff

The Tooth Pixie

                       Der is a pixie, like no other pixie, that wanders the Dark Thorn Forests of the Thortop Elves.  she is barely a foot tall, with shimmering iridescent dragonfly wings, but that is where the Pixie like traits end. she doesn't dart about uncontrollably, but rather hovers in place or Glides directly where she needs to go. her clothing is not made of nature(leaves, sticks,and spider webs) which is typical. this pixie wears black leather armor with teeny tiny silver buckles. on both of her hips are elaborately detailed daggers, and on her back is a tiny compound bow, and quiver. her hair isn't wild and multi-colored. it is Jet black and braided down her back, almost to her bum.  she looks more like an elf the size of a pixie, with pixie wings.

                   Her name is Ixie, and her is me closest friend. even if she is a thief,  but her dont steal out of greed but rather as part of a holy quest.  her steals the gems and coins of travelers that travel to close to the Dark Thorn wood, but she then trades her riches to the good elven children of not just Thorntop but all over tipoharsis, for their…   baby teeth.  

                    what?  Joo thought the Tooth pixie was a Fairy? dat is ridiculous. Fairies are protectors of nature.  only ah Pixie could be this…  sneaky and devious.

                     many stories ‘bout her explain why she makes this trade.  the one me tells goes like this.

                     Der is a group of elves that live under the world.  Dark Elves.  they are evil. born and breed evil. to the core evil.  Ixie was once one of them, and more evil than most of them, but during a moment of clarity, her realized her was bad, and her not wanted to be bad no more. so she begged the goddess of the good elves to change her…  umm…  disposition. The Goddess heard her call, and told her truthful that changing her that much was beyond even her powers, but she could curse her to a smaller form, and if she gathered the materials she needed for a powerful spell, that she could do what Ixie wanted.  it only took a few years to gather what was needed, all except elven teeth. thousands of them, and they hafta be given willingly. its a Quest Ixie is still on today…

                      Sometimes me wonders if she hasn't finished the quest, and continues to do it because she loves making children happy, helping them through a rough time growing up, and being so cute and tiny is a plus too...

...but first a wurd on physhstix

                  me started a story then realized quickly that before me delves too deeply into the Stories and history of Tipoharsis, me needs to explain a few things.

                   joo live in a world of rules. me calls these rules Physhstix. Astrophyshtix, Metaphyshstix, etc…    Physhstix!   

                  one particular theory discussed by the rule testers of joo world, me finds especially amusing…   Multiverse Theory, a Theory that could prove or disprove me is really real…   Santa and me watches those Scientists closely, but me has wandered off topic.

                  Tipoharsis does not follow all the same rules, as those of you Reading, watching, scrying, etc…   from other worlds.  ours was found barren(the only life here was the 8 dragons, of the garden) by planes travelers, or gods as so many mortals have come to call them. depending on joo definition of a god, the shoe fits. ya see, before they settled on Tipoharsis, they traveled from universe to universe without the aide of Technology, or science as joo know it. They wield great power. power to break through reality, or bend reality to their will.

                    at first they were unable to create life, but that didn't stop them from bringing life to our modest little sphere.  within a few thousand years of their arrival the surface was teeming with life. Humans, Several species of Dwarves, a few types of Elves, a couple types of Gnomes, and so on…  they too traveled the planes, but they did so using a combination of magic and science, in great ships called Cosmos-Clippers or Voidnoughts.  That all ended when they got too close to Tipoharsis. they became stranded here by some unknown force caused by the gods, but also spared by the same force.  it only took 20-30 thousand years for these castaways, to form segregated homes, rebuild cultures, and make a transition from Castaways to indigenous peoples. most forgetting the stars they once flew between, or their origins. in some corners of the world, it is even blasphemy to talk about the stars…   but me know.  me knows their story.  

Upcoming Posts

March 24th: "The Tooth Pixie"(what, you thought she was a fairy?  nonsense!), by Ummie

March 27th: "My Pet Ogre", by Ixie.

March 31st: "The Spring Llama", by Ummie